At this time of the year how many times have you heard or been asked, “Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” In past years like most people, I have had many. Eat better, exercise more, stop beating myself up because I don’t eat well or exercise. One year I recall I was to remember everyone’s birthday before it was upon us. I sent out one card that year and lasted until February.

So here I go again … I thought of all the things I would like to change in my life. For the most part I’m good with the way things are. Mind you my house will never be free of dog hair, every room will never be clean at the same time, and my family will never complete their “To Do Lists”. However, I could still make some changes in and for me.

After days of brain strain and going back and forth trying to pick the one that felt right, there was one I really wanted to change and one I knew I would see through. As I reviewed my mental list over and over, I realized that all these resolutions had one thing in common: my neglect to consistently live my life in my truth. That’s the hard part; staying connected to that place. So there it was, a resolution that I knew I could keep but more importantly wanted to keep.

We so often attempt changes in our lives for the wrong reasons or attempt them in way that is domed for failure. Do we make resolutions for ourselves or others? I suppose my point is, when we make a resolution we need to make it for ourselves in a way that is in our highest interest.

I walked out my front door on January 1st, 2012 and stepped into the loving sunshine, took a couple of deep cleansing breaths, and made a New Year’s resolution to me:

“Starting today I will live each day and  my “Life With the Least Resistance”.

As I drove along the highway looking forward to a school trip with my niece Shauna, my own children don’t want me anymore, I found myself driving behind a transport truck. All that know me are aware that driving is one of my least favourite activities as it is, never mind near something that’s 100 times bigger then me. There I was; unable to change lanes and pass, unable to slow down with the risk of being tailgated, another of my least favourite things, so I just tolerantly drove. At a constant speed with no view other then a “How’s My Driving”, I waited for my chance to make the move that was going to put me back in the forward motion at my own speed, with me in control.

Now, let us look at this truck like life for the moment. Plans that were going to move us forward changed, slowly implementing some adjustments to my work, gratefully no set-backs, I’m just stuck behind a truck. I realize I’m still moving forward on my path but with no control how quickly I was going nor with my perceived current destination insight. As the kilometers continued to add up I felt I had made no movement, still in the same place, with others passing me by. Sounds like life at times doesn’t it?

Then it happened. The truck signaled and off the highway it went. Suddenly I found myself with a clear and opened lane in front of me. Again I was off and moving forward, hurrying to catch a couple of school buses. Arriving at our destination I began to see the irony of driving being much like life. We get stuck behind trucks or in traffic or reach turns and dead ends in the road but ahead there is always a change we can get back on our path. Be assured we will make it to our destination. So we can accept being stuck behind a truck as the temporary thing that it is and accept life as it comes, Life with the least Resistance.

Buddhist wise men and women say;
The path to spiritual fulfillment lies in knowing how to build a healthy ego,
while at the same time developing a part of oneself completely foreign to the ego.

Over the last 3 days, I have made many attempts to write the opening of my first newsletter. I wrote, deleted, wrote, deleted, and only thought and thought some more. Finally, under the curse of what we will call “writers block,” I took a break to walk my dog. As I watched her run insanely around, I realized that she had it right! All day she waits patiently for one of us to ask, “Want to go for a walk?” She trusts that the one thing she wants most will come. Nothing else matters, other than the sound of food going into the bowl. She doesn’t wonder and obsess all day. She doesn’t think about the other dog next door, she doesn’t compare her coat or leash, and doesn’t ponder about the dog she met yesterday and their interaction good or bad. Stella never wonders if we love her unconditionally. Okay, maybe understandingly a few conditions, like no barking, no doing her business in the house… you get the picture. But most importantly, she never asks herself, “Why?” She doesn’t worry or try to control her environment or future.
I realized she doesn’t have an Ego.
She is a being instead of a doer.

Then it occurred to me once again: my Ego had taken control. I had become a human doer. I wasn’t working from the heart or sharing from my true essence. I was trying to write the perfect opening. The one that reaches everyone, the one that says exactly what everyone needs to read in order for you to want to continue to the end. I was living in a place of Ego, an Ego that wasn’t in-line with my heart. I was resisting. I have spent the last 15 years or so of my life trying to figure out the meaning of life. Although I still don’t know it, I do know how to Live Life with the Least Resistance or at least recognize when I’m not.

Science has always explained the person in scientific terms; oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus, using physics and chemistry. Man has spent eons and more money than we can imagine trying to map humans into a black & white description.

However, let me offer the living being is too complex, too unique, too unpredictable and perfect in its intelligence to be just a scientific equation.

We are so much more – mind, body and spirit – and all have a direct effect on the other.

All three must be in healthy working order to be whole. We nurture our minds constantly, seeking information, knowledge. Our bodies, we make great efforts with foods we eat, the amount of exercise we get. But, really, how much time do we spend on our Spirit?

To live our lives to the fullest and healthiest, do we not need to care for all of our parts that equal our sum?

When a baby is born, it cannot tell the difference between self and not-self. The baby knows no boundaries in the material world. Everything and all is self. Then, as we grow and learn an ego, a conceptualization of self, develops. This ego is not your true self. The ego is the product of all our suffering, anxiety, fear, our lack of fulfillment, our need for attention and results in conflict with our true self.

The ego is a belief that you are better or even worse, if it makes our Ego feel better, than someone else. The ego is all about comparing you to someone else. There is nothing wrong with having an ego because there are situations where the ego is expressed in positive ways. Lending a helping hand, donating your time, helping a friend, and expressing your love. All of this is okay because there is nothing wrong with feeling good. The problem arises when you become attached to the ego, become identified with it, live through its filter. Problems begin to show when a person forces his/her beliefs on others trying to make them believe as they believe, or act as they act, react as they react.

Unlike inherited characteristics, there are characteristics that are learned from being part of an environment. Influences in the environment, such as childhood, education, friends, work, money and health, all play a part in who you are today. The ego has everything to do with comparing one’s ‘self’ to others. In order to feel good or bad, as far as the ego is concerned, someone has to be “better” or “worse” than someone else. Ego is all about comparison.

The ego sees the world as a created illusion. It sees it’s self as separate from the rest of the world. It is biased and judgmental of others. The ego defends. When offered constructive criticism, the ego explains why it did what it did. The ego takes everything personally. The ego can be offensive as well as defensive. The ego is never satisfied. When the ego gets what it wants, it only wants more. More money, more friends, more success, more praise and then it wants more.

The ego is alive with thought and by thought. If your thought is about you or related to you it is from Ego. Take some time each day to observe you thoughts. Are they coming from ego or self? Are they thoughts generated from a place of good and love or a place off judgment and bias? By observing yourself during the day you can begin seeing the moments in your ‘self’ that the ego creates. There is nothing wrong with having an ego. However, remember a problem can easily arise when you become attached to the ego and it’s belief.

“The greater part of most people’s thinking is involuntary, automatic, and repetitive. It is no more than a kind of mental static and fulfills no real purpose. Strictly speaking, you don’t think: Thinking happens to you”

Ekhart Tolle