When a baby is born, it cannot tell the difference between self and not-self. The baby knows no boundaries in the material world. Everything and all is self. Then, as we grow and learn an ego, a conceptualization of self, develops. This ego is not your true self. The ego is the product of all our suffering, anxiety, fear, our lack of fulfillment, our need for attention and results in conflict with our true self.
The ego is a belief that you are better or even worse, if it makes our Ego feel better, than someone else. The ego is all about comparing you to someone else. There is nothing wrong with having an ego because there are situations where the ego is expressed in positive ways. Lending a helping hand, donating your time, helping a friend, and expressing your love. All of this is okay because there is nothing wrong with feeling good. The problem arises when you become attached to the ego, become identified with it, live through its filter. Problems begin to show when a person forces his/her beliefs on others trying to make them believe as they believe, or act as they act, react as they react.
Unlike inherited characteristics, there are characteristics that are learned from being part of an environment. Influences in the environment, such as childhood, education, friends, work, money and health, all play a part in who you are today. The ego has everything to do with comparing one’s ‘self’ to others. In order to feel good or bad, as far as the ego is concerned, someone has to be “better” or “worse” than someone else. Ego is all about comparison.
The ego sees the world as a created illusion. It sees it’s self as separate from the rest of the world. It is biased and judgmental of others. The ego defends. When offered constructive criticism, the ego explains why it did what it did. The ego takes everything personally. The ego can be offensive as well as defensive. The ego is never satisfied. When the ego gets what it wants, it only wants more. More money, more friends, more success, more praise and then it wants more.
The ego is alive with thought and by thought. If your thought is about you or related to you it is from Ego. Take some time each day to observe you thoughts. Are they coming from ego or self? Are they thoughts generated from a place of good and love or a place off judgment and bias? By observing yourself during the day you can begin seeing the moments in your ‘self’ that the ego creates. There is nothing wrong with having an ego. However, remember a problem can easily arise when you become attached to the ego and it’s belief.
“The greater part of most people’s thinking is involuntary, automatic, and repetitive. It is no more than a kind of mental static and fulfills no real purpose. Strictly speaking, you don’t think: Thinking happens to you”
Ekhart Tolle
Great article Karen,
I have to admit I’ve spent a lot of time comparing myself to others especially when it comes to looks and weight. I’ve also gone so far as to feel much inferiour if I’m in a group of women who I feel look much better than I do. It’s hard to change but I feel becoming aware of the fact that I do it is the first step to getting that ego out of the way and just enjoying myself (like, say, at a wedding or something).
And congratulations on your new blog and first blog post! I’m proud of you for getting it going!
Angela